Do You Belong In Melbourne?

How can you tell if Melbourne is the city for you? Here’s a list of all the things that make up a typical Melbournian.

You wear black, devotedly.

Imagevia frocks and frou frou

“It’s my uniform, OK?”

It may be the AFL, but you know all the best teams will always be from Melbourne.

AFL via

OK, Victoria. But it’s all just outer Melbourne really.

You know that an umbrella and a jacket are important accessories.

Imagevia timecowboy

You want to participate in the annual Zombie Shuffle.

zombiesmelbournevia Herald Sun

You either love or loathe dressing up for Cup Day.

myer_FOTFvia Melbourne Girl

And leaving with your shoes in your hand is definitely not classy.

You can’t wait for the Boxing Day Test, especially if it’s the Ashes .

cricket-fansvia The Australian

Even if you hate cricket, you can’t pass up a chance to have an all day picnic/drink-a-thon with your mates.

You need a cafĂ© and a thrift store in your neighbourhood, preferably within walking distance, but you’ll take the tram if you have to.

coin laundry

via Tour de Clance

You collect rail tickets.

metcardsvia Meld Magazine

And you have a preferred ticket system, either team Metcard or team Myki.


Are there any other indicators that I’ve missed? Do you fit the mold? Let me know.


Train Stations

Why don’t all train stations have great names? Like “King’s Cross” or “Flinders St”? Or even the happily named “Woy Woy” which sounds like a steam engine whistle! I do realise that the stations are conveniently named after their location but I feel that this can sometimes be irresponsible. For example “Southern Cross”. Melbourne’s major train station used to be called Spencer St Station if memory serves me, which it rarely does. However its new name suggests its location is amongst the stars somewhere. Out in the Milky Way!

Judy-May what on Earth are you on about?

I took a day trip to the Victorian capital about a fortnight ago to do some fun biometric scanning for my visa to the UK and I just got to thinking is all. What did I do well…

I hung around and watched people. I didn’t take any photos of random strangers though.

I saw lots and lots of cyclist in regular clothes zipping up and down Collins St. It’s important to me that the cyclists were in streets because I don’t agree with lycra or it’s friend spandex unless worn ironically or as underwear/swimwear. I don’t appreciate seeing that much of people in my every day life.

While I’m speaking of bikes I saw Australian comedian and spunk Frank Woodley riding his bike down Smith St in Fitzroy. He was appropriately attired in jeans and a t-shirt. And he had a ukulele in his back pack! Seems Melbourne is the place to cycle and to play small instruments.

I saw this bird and several of his friends in a MacDonald’s where I stopped for a thickshake and to write some postcards to friends. He was sitting beneath this sign:

It says “please do not feed the birds”. I had previously wondered about the sign. I thought it was being funny. No.

I saw a movie. I window shopped. I walked a lot. Which I hated. I should’ve got a rent a cycle from the new bike racks that the city has installed.

And that was my trip to Melbourne. In a nutshell.

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